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What’s wrong with sex or cheeseburgers? Especially at the same time?

May 10, 2012

Sex makes you stupid, and cheeseburgers make you fat. Together they make you fat, stupid and greasy. Sure, most of us are thinking about sex all the damned time. But that’s what makes us stupider than a stuffed wombat and lets every would-be dictator with low testosterone and a limp dick waltz by us and pass laws to throw us in jail for wiping our fucking asses. If we could stop thinking about sex for five minutes a day, those bastards would be cutting our grass and scrubbing piss off our bathroom tile instead of us hiring hard-working, religious people with nice families to do it. Hell, it’s a miracle that saber tooth cats didn’t devour every human on earth while they were humping twenty thousand years ago. And I changed my mind about the fucking cheeseburgers, go ahead and blimp up you want to.

A tower of good.

If you have a question you want me to answer later on, then you’re a cheery mince pie of a person, my friend, and I’d buy you a present if I wasn’t as mean as a shark with the clap. But if you leave your question in the comments, I will answer it. I thank you, and may angels sing you to your rest.


From → Answers, Humor, Life

  1. Della Bean permalink

    What driving force causes Celebrities to think we pay good money to hear their political views at concerts and shows or events?

  2. Della Bean permalink

    If there truly are just 12 “tones” in music, why haven’t we reached the point where music starts repeating tunes. (other than plagiarism)?

  3. Della Bean permalink

    Why if they putt so much air in my potato chip bag to keep them from breaking during shipping do I get a bag full of crumbs?

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