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Why are Scots so cheap?

May 11, 2012

Scots aren’t cheap, we’re discriminating. After all, a Scotsman will pay a thousand pounds for a fucking kilt, and you can’t exactly call that cheap, can you? People think Scots are cheap because they mostly see us outside Scotland. In Scotland a damn good bottle of whiskey is worth seven hundred pounds, but in Minneapolis I wouldn’t give two dollars and a shake of my dick for a bottle of Wild Turkey. And what kind of god damned idiot would pay eight dollars for a plate of chicken wings? Those are the parts of the chicken any normal person would throw away. And besides all that, when Scots are away from home we just act cheap to try to cheat foreigners because we think they’re all dim.

This is pretty much the ugliest place in Scotland. That’s why Scots don’t want to pay $15 for the Ghost Tour of Albuquerque.

If you have a question you want me to answer later on, then you’re a cheery mince pie of a person, my friend, and I’d buy you a present if I wasn’t as mean as a shark with the clap. But if you leave your question in the comments, I will answer it. I thank you, and may angels sing you to your rest.

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From → Answers, Humor, Life

One Comment
  1. Morgan permalink

    Scottish people really are cheap. Two Scottish guys I know here in the U.S. were trying to tip $1 on a $30 restaurant bill . . . embarrassing. I told them, “That’s what you’re leaving as a tip?” and one guy said, “What, too much?” No joke.

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