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Why do celebrities annoy us with their opinions?

May 17, 2012

Full Question: What force makes celebrities think we pay good money to hear their political views at concerts and shows or events?

Because we’ve seen them sitting on the toilet. Seriously, what big celebrity hasn’t been grunting on the crapper when some moron with a camera bigger than his fucking head popped out from under the sink and snapped off a dozen shots and some jerky video? Thirty minutes later fourth graders are looking at the celebrity’s dangly bits on NationalEnquirer.com, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, Pinterest, YouTube, Drudge, and what’s left of MySpace. Hell, by dinner time your god damn granny will be talking about how they should get that mole on their ass looked at by a dermatologist. So celebrities figure if it’s okay for every son of a bitch on the planet to examine their genitals whenever the fuck they want, then it’s okay for celebrities to spend ninety seconds at their show saying how much they think Rush Limbaugh sucks dick.

Paparazzi burst out from under Jude Law’s bed to shoot photos of his vasectomy scar.

If you have a question you want me to answer later on, then you’re a cheery mince pie of a person, my friend, and I’d buy you a present if I wasn’t as mean as a shark with the clap. But if you leave your question in the comments, I will answer it. I thank you, and may angels sing you to your rest.

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From → Answers, Humor, Life

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