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Is there just one right person for me?

June 4, 2012

Full Question: Is there just one right person for each of us to fall in love with?

Damn right there is. You may not have met yours because she lives in a village in Mongolia that you’d never be able to find, even using MapQuest, a spy satellite, and Shirley McLaine’s diamond-crusted Ouija board, even if you searched until every tooth fell out of your head and your face was as wrinkled as a Shar Pei’s ass. And by the way, she died last year when a camel fell on her yurt, so you spent too long eating pie and downloading Smokey Robinson on iTunes before you started looking. So like pretty much the rest of humanity, you’ll have to get by with somebody who picks her toes, hates your damned singing, and is willing to bang you once a month even though you’re an oozing idiot who thinks there’s just one right person to fall in love with.

“My one true love. I met her at the watering hole. At Fuxing Park in Shanghai.”

Leave a comment to submit any relatively clean question you want me to answer. You won’t get a prize or anything, but I bet nobody says anything bad about you, either. Thanks!



From → Answers, Humor, Life

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